While we need a license for many things in life – from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing – a license is not required to become a parent, which is often the trickiest of all the above activities!
Parenting today is much harder than it used to be, even harder than a generation ago. Many well-meaning parents use outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience frustration and stress at home on a daily basis.
Below you will find my top 7 parenting secrets. These tips motivate kids to want to be on their best behavior, which can reduce family arguments and increase family fun.
Good Parenting Tip #1 – If you love your child, put yourself first!
One of the best things we can do for our children is lay the groundwork for them to become happy and healthy adults. Self-care shouldn’t be a luxury for parents – it should be a necessity. To be a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being, you need to take care of yourself. Too many kids live with parents who are stressful and frankly not fun to be around. If you’re repeatedly staying up all night, you may be on the verge of parental burnout — and it’s not a pleasant event for you or your family.
Good Parenting Tip #2 – If You Are Married – Put Your Marriage Before Your Children!
Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you know that Generation S – the spoiled generation – is on the rise? Many children today grow up with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. With the divorce rate still hovering around 50 percent, kids often endure unhappy, failed marriages and divorces — worse for them than missing a few toys or designer jeans. Take a stand and make time for your marriage (like a date night) – for your whole family!
Good Parenting Tip #3 – Cherish your children
No matter your situation – no matter how much your kids drive you crazy – know that there are thousands of people in this world who would be willing to trade places with you. Some couples are willing to risk everything for a child. Try to remember how lucky you are. Hug your child at least 3 times a day. Regularly tell them that you appreciate the opportunity to be their parent.
Good Parenting Tip #4 – Teach your kids to fish – don’t fish for them!
Many parents will do anything for their children. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn to be self-reliant – vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is help your child do things on their own. One of the chapters in my first book on effective parenting was called “How to Make Your Child Smile While Doing Chores”. Some parents think I’m from another planet because I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. Those same skeptical parents, if they see that it is possible – in their own home, in this century! Housework teaches basic life skills that everyone should know. Plus, chores give kids the chance to contribute to the family in a positive and meaningful way.
Good Parenting Tip #5 – Focus on what you like, not what you don’t like
If kids aren’t valued and given no attention for what they do well – if they do well – you better believe they’ll learn to get noticed for behaving badly. The more you find yourself loving what they do, the less likely they are to turn into destructive little terrors, and the more likely you are to motivate your child to repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.
Good Parenting Tip #6 – Give respect and expect it in return
Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t want your child to do to you. The list of things you don’t want to do includes yelling, hitting, spitting, and belittling others. You have better ways to deal with conflict, stress, and common misbehavior. Committed to teaching these “ultimate parenting” tools based on mutual respect – not a fear-based punishment that just teaches our kids not to get caught next time!
Good Parenting Tip #7 – Families that play together stay together!
Have fun – play with your kids. Laughing, tickling and enjoying each other’s company are the foundation of a happy family. Having fun can go a long way in avoiding many unnecessary conflicts and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides your family with much needed quality time.
